pull up to my bumper

back to the drawing board

2007-07-13T09:24:00.001+10:00

I got fired this week. They didnt say fired, they said 'let go'. I have never been 'let go' so quickly in my life. I am not really sure what happened, suffice to say, the big mean man boss who I had spoken to twice didnt like me and didnt want to work with me.

I had been there 4 weeks and was getting on with it. My (lady) boss seemed to like what I had been doing and we had one little issue, but had moved on from it. I had a few days off in my 3rd week because Lila was sick with a really bad cold, and I wasnt going to leave her at day care. But I offered to do work from home and did that both days.

So either, he just didnt like me, or he didnt like the fact that I would put my family before work. Now, I havent been employed since I have been a mother, but I am thinking that is a little bit unreasonable...

Its fine though. If they want to be like that, I dont want to work there. Its their loss. I got 2 extra weeks pay, and am looking for another job, but in my heart of hearts, I just want something part time for now. I am going to keep Lila at day care 2 days a week because I think its good for her to be social and spend time with other kids, and its also a good chance for me to get some things done.

And in the week that I get 'let go', my husband gets offered a better job with a better company and better money, so I think its some kind of sign...

I think I will work 2-3 days a week with a friend of mine who has a merchandising company. We are going to have a chat on Monday. That would suit me for the moment. Its close to home and I think it will be fairly easy and only 5 hours a day, so it wont be such an early start.

Our house will go on the market next week. I hope we get what we want for it. I am sure it will come close. I think its a nice house and am posititve that others will think that too. We move at the beginning of September.

My beautiful Lila turns 1 next week. Where did the year go? This is the invite that I made for her birthday party. Well its not really a party... We are going to the pub! Well, we cant have it here and I dont feel like organising a picnic or anything when we will be having an open house that day, so the pub it is!!

Hope everything is good out there. Looks like we will have a lovely weekend.

take care

cold cold cold

2007-06-29T20:39:00.000+10:00

Hey all

I just realised its been a whole month since I posted. All is good, we just havent had a computer at home for a couple of weeks. Hubby blew up the hard drive, but we finally have a lap top - its very spunky and I love it. I will try to get on here more often, but at the moment I am addicted to facebook and I cant seem to drag myself away. Its kind of like myspace only much easier to use and much easier to find your friends. I have found people that I havent spoken to in years and its great to catch up!

All is good. I started work 3 weeks ago and it feels like I have been there for ever. The people are lovely and the job suits me to the ground - its close to home and they are all very aware of the fact that I have a child and that she is super important, so I am out of there at 5 oclock on the dot and no one makes me feel guilty about it. I like that. Lila has a cold at the moment so I had to leave early and take her home my boss was over the moon that I offered to take home work. I actually managed to get more done at home than I would usually at work - go figure.

We have started to pack up our house and it should be on the market at the end of next week. I am so excited. I am not sure when we will move but it will probably be by the end of August. I will be so happy to have much more room and a neighbourhood that I can enjoy. It will be fantastic!!

Lila is getting more wonderful by the day. She will be one in just a few weeks. She seems so grown up now. She is almost walking and its so much fun to watch her get around. She loves dancing and just adores her daddy. Its very sweet. We are having a party for her, even though it seems so silly to have a party when she wont even realise that its for her. We just love spoiling her, so I guess its more for us.

On the weight front - things are getting dire, so I have gone back to WW. I thought I could do it on my own, but I was wrong. I know that I just need a big kick in the bum. I considered taking xenical as I thought there was no hope for me. I even spoke to the pharmacist about it. The only thing stopping me from buying it was the cost ($139 for 4 weeks). They said that you could lose between 1 and 4kg a month. I told my husband and he said I could do that with diet and exercise and that it was a waste of $$. He was right as usual. I just have to find the strength and motivation from somewhere. I went to a WW meeting in Newtown on Tuesday night - it was FREEZING and I couldnt find a park, but I went anyway. It was a bit of a shock to have put on so much weight after losing it after having Lila. I feel like Oprah sometimes - I take it off and put it on and keep yo-yoing from 90kg to 80kg to 90kg to 70kg to 80kg and so on. I just want to get to 80kg at the moment, and then I will try for 70 again. I have done it before so I am sure that I can do it again.

My next weigh in is on Tuesday. I havent exercised yet, but will try to on the weekend, and I have stuck to my points and am eating well. One step at a time....

Hope everyone is good out there. I have lost all my favourites, so leave me a message so I can find you all again!

vvxx

Just let go

2007-06-01T17:51:00.001+10:00

Hi There

My beautiful 10 month old daughter had a her 1st full day at day care today. She was great. Had her 2 day sleeps, ate all her food, didnt cry. Her carer said that she was every carers 'dream child'. Bless.

At least I know she will be fine. She goes for 1 day next week and then she is there 5 days a week. I am sad but I know that she will love it!

Good weekends to you all...

vxx

Happy Days

2007-05-29T11:13:00.001+10:00

Hi All

You will be happy to know that things have calmed down considerably since my last post. Hubby and I are definitely getting on better and I think things should be OK. He has spoken to a few friends and they have quite rightly told him 'be thankful for what you have and stop living in the past'. Here here!

I have spent the past few weeks getting myself sorted with my job hunting and I managed to get the first job that I applied for! Its at a homewares company (mmm... homewares!) and its local so thats really handy for me. The 'boss' seems like a great woman and its quite a small family run business so I think it could suit me to the ground. Luckily I havent forgotten how to turn the computer on, but it will be very weird going back to work after having almost a year off. I start in 2 weeks, which means Lila will be in day care 5 days a week! Thats the bit that I am most stressed about. I dont know how I will cope because I have never had this experience before so if any of you have any tips - can you please send them my way? I will need all the help I can get.

I ended up getting 5 days with Family Day Care. The carer is very close to where we live now and she seems like a nice lady so fingers crossed it will all work out.

We are selling our place in the next couple of weeks - well at least we are putting it on the market. That will be stressfull too but the house we are moving to is great and it will mean that we have much more room for Lila and I think we will enjoy our weekends more which will be very important with us both working 5 days a week.

My weight had gone through the roof the past few months. I weigh the same now as I did when I was (very) pregnant with Lila. I think my medication had something to do with it, but all the baking I have been doing probably helped a little! I am not very happy about it but I think once I go back to work I will hopefully drop back a bit again. It doesnt bother me as much as it has in the past. I feel happier in myself than I have for a long time, and although I know that I need to do something about it, it doesnt make me sad.

This is one of the only photos we have as a family!

It was taken last weekend at Anton's Mums 60th Birthday

Lila with her grandmother (Babushka) at her 60th birthday!

Lila is great and getter more fantastic every day. She now has 4 teeth and is moving around a lot - will be walking soon! She is such a great bub and I will really miss spending my days with her, but I am sure that the time I spend with her will be even more wonderful!
Hope you are all well
vxxx

the drama

2007-05-09T21:13:00.000+10:00

Hi There
I have been really crap with posting considering that I have been spending so much time on the internet.

A lot is going on and I dont really know where to start. Its not all good tho.
Um firstly, I was lucky enough to meet the wonderful Phillipa the other week just before she headed off on her World Tour. She was in Sydney for a few days before heading off to San Fran and Lila and I were lucky enough to spend an hour with her and the beautiful Mary at The Bank. It was like we were old friends catching up, even tho I admitted to her I felt like I was on a blind date. I had literally bumped into Mary a couple of weeks earlier in Newtown. She is much more beautiful in real life and I really enjoyed meeting her! Philippa is a fantastic woman and I wish her all the best on her travels!

My very good friend Jeff is back in town. He was the first friend I met independant of school back in 1986, and we are still the best of mates now. He has been living in London for the past 10 years and he is back for a year. It was the first time I have seen him as a married woman and the first time he had met Lila, and I have to say he fell completely in love with her! It was really lovely to catch up with him. He has gone to Brampton Island for a week and is back tomorrow, so I cant wait to spend a bit more time with him. Welcome home Jeff. I love you!!

We are putting our house on the market in the next couple of weeks. Its very scary but also very exciting as the house that we are moving to in Balmain is FANTASTIC! Its my father in laws place, and it has so much more space and is in a great location. We havent worked out the details yet, but its as well as done. At this stage we should be moving in about 10 weeks. I dont really know how this will affect us, as it looks like my husband and I may be breaking up. He thinks that i have changed too much since becoming a mum, and he feels like he needs some space to find out who he is. I am a bit thrown by all of this, as I feel that I have become a much better person since having Lila. She is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and I would never go back to my life without her. By my hubby is having a hard time dealing with being a dad and I dont really know what is going to happen to us. I am determined to try and work this out and keep our family together - its going to be tough but I am going to give it a red hot go. I am sure that hubby needs some help, but I cant seem to convince him that its the best thing for him...

Any way, I will keep you informed. I am not having the best time and I have no idea what will happen in the next few months. I hope they improve. I am sure they will once we move and I get myself a job - but that brings its own challanges as I cant find child care. Things are never easy are they...
take care
vx

update

2007-04-26T10:38:00.000+10:00

hey folks
Just a quick update to cover off where I am at...

I started this post about 3 weeks ago - I should post it now and will start a new one as well...

The most exciting news for the week, was a surprise wedding! Our friends Susan and Phil were throwing a party for their 10 year (going out!) anniversary on Tuesday night. It was at a pub in the city and we just thought it was going to be a party! We got there late and flustered and Susan was wearing a beautiful champagne coloured Alannah Hill frock and Phil was in jeans and a velvet jacket (very dressed up for him!). There was champagne and canapes but nothing too flash. Everyone was relaxed and having a drink and a catch up. All of a sudden we were all ushered into another room and it was filled with beautiful flowers. There was a lady standing there with a folder and she rang some tibetan prayer bells. She said her name and announced that she was a marriage celebrant. Well the crowd went WILD. NO ONE knew (including their parents and siblings!) and we were all so excited for them. They had always vowed that they were happy to never get married. It was a beautiful hand binding ceremony and I know I was crying, as I am sure where the rest of the crowd. We had a lovely dinner together and a bunch of us went out until 4.00AM!! I am very happy that we organised a baby sitter for Lila!
So after a few hours sleep we headed to the Courthouse in Newtown for Anzac Day. Its always a great day out and was a bit quieter than usual because of the rain. I didnt drink much because I had to drive, but its always a hoot down there. I love seeing the old diggers out and about, enjoying a beer. It bring a smile to my face. I was very happy to get home and get some sleep last night, thats for sure!
Other stuff that has been happening.... hmm. The short version. I think I need to find myself a job. The trouble is that I dont really know what I want to do. I have to get myself organised and start applying for jobs. I am sure that something will come along soon.
We may be putting our house on the market. A couple of reasons, the first being that we need more space. The second is that Anton's dad is moving interstae and there is a possibilty that we can rent their place from them. Its a much larger house in Balmain, and it would be awesome if that all works out.

cheers
vxx

Family Holiday

2007-04-03T09:39:00.000+10:00

I have just returned from my first holiday as a family. Anton, Lila and I just went to the Sunshine Coast for a week and it was glorious. We stayed at a place called Dickies Beach in Caloundra. The beach is named after a shipwreck of the SS Dickie on the beach. Aparently the boat got stuck there is the 1800's and it is amazing - looks like a whale carcass.

The apartments that we stayed, called Portobello By The Sea were great. They had a great pool and our courtyard had its own outdoor hottub, so it was a nice alternative to going out at night which we obviously couldnt do with a bub! Although obviously she loved the hot tub as well!

We had a couple of outings. One was to the Ginger Factory at Yandina. I am a real ginger fan, so we had to go there and suss it out. We got some yummy ginger fudge and acted like total tourists and loved it!

Anton spent a bit of time playing golf, and I spent a lot of time in the pool. It was so nice to just relax. Lila would wake every morning at 4.30am, which I think was a combination of daylight savings ending and not being in her own bed. The bed that they had was very creaky and evertime she moved it would make a noise like somebody humping - quite funny bu really annoying when we were trying to sleep! Lila also liked the pool and it was great to get her used to the water.

Another day trip was to Noosa. It is such a beautiful place, but a little bit too ritzy for us. It was so busy for this time of the year and we didnt feel like spending a lot of money going to a really nice place for lunch. So we went to the Surf Club, which ended up having great views of main beach and was lovely and relaxed. Great choice I thought!

The last trip we took was to Maleny and the Glass House Mountains. I had no idea that they would be so spectacular. It was a really lovely day and Maleny was a real find. We had a beautiful lunch at an organic cafe where I think I had the best mango smoothie in existance! The mountains are really stunning and I would recommend a visit if you are ever in the area.

I was really impressed with the area and even looked at some real estate prices which were quite affordable. I can really see why people move to QLD. Lots of space and beautiful weather. Hmm, something to think about.

A few more pics to share with you. We took so many photos and these were my favourites.

When we got back, I decided that I wanted to go to V Festival at Centennial Park, to see Groove Armada, Jarvis Cocker and the Pet Shop Boys. Anton took Lila to his mums and we met up afterwards and stayed out until 3.00am!! It was very lucky that Lila wasnt there to wake us up at 4.30am. It was nice to have a night off, but I do miss her when she isnt around.

Hope all is well.

vxx

2007-03-16T15:27:00.000+11:00

I went to a lovely lunch yesterday with some of my friends from mothers group. They are such lovely girls and I feel really comfortable with them. It is so nice to have made good friends with people that live nearby, have kids the same age and are fabulous.

This is a picture of Lila on the swing in the backyard. She loved it! She is 8 months next week and I cant believe how grown up she is now and what a wonderful girl she is. We are really lucky. She got her 2 bottom teeth this week as well. Bless.

These are her little friends, Lauren and Bernie and Henry at the back. Such sweet kids.

Life is good at the moment. I am keeping busy and really enjoying being at home. I will have to get a job at some point but I am definitely not in a hurry.

We are heading to the Sunshine Coast for a week next Sunday. It will be really exciting to have some time as a family. My hubby has been working really hard lately and he doesnt get to see Lila much, so it will be nice to be together.

Hope you all have a great weekend.
vxx

I WANT THIS!!

2007-03-08T10:31:00.000+11:00

LEGO® just got even cooler!
Serve the coolest drinks around with ice that looks like LEGO bricks, or build your own LEGO ice "sculpture!"
Made of durable silicone.
ice cube tray makes 10 ice "bricks" at a time!
Dishwasher safe.

$7.99

I dont know why I am so impressed by this but I think its the coolest. Maybe its because I always wanted Lego as a kid but never got any...
If anyone is reading from the US and would like to buy it for me and post it over I will give you the $$. Just thought I would ask - if you dont ask, you dont get...

vxx

christening

2007-03-06T21:23:00.000+11:00

Lila was christened last sunday. It was a fairly casual day, but it was lovely to have family and close friends together. I was amazed at the generosity of all the guests. Lila is a very lucky girl.

Its amazing how fast she is growing up. She is 7 months now and just divine. Starting to crawl which is exciting and a little bit scary. And basically she just makes us smile every day. I think she is tops!

My best friend LM is her god mother. I have known her since I was born and we both had children last year. I couldnt have made it through those first few months without her support. Lila will be very lucky to have her in her life!

We just had a casual lunch at the in-laws afterwards. Just a couple of salads and some BBQ chooks. But I did made a fabulous cake. I was very impressed with my efforts!

Its pretty funny. It was a huge cake and I had never made anything like it before. People seemed impressed, or at least they were being polite!

Lastly, I have just discovered my space. Come and be my friend at http://www.myspace.com/missyvas1

have a great week all....

vxx

Yes I am still here

2007-02-28T11:24:00.000+11:00

Just a quick one to say that I have been offline for a couple of weeks and am just sorting my computer out. We had the server updated and it took ages to have everything reconnected. Things are fine. The two big things that have happened in the past few weeks are that I was made redundant from my job and I had Lila Christened.

I am totally fine with the redundancy. I think its a blessing. I wasnt ready to go back to work and think its important that I spend more time with Lila before I put her into childcare. The company gave me a decent pay out, so I probably dont have to work this year - which is a good thing! I am not sure what I will do, but if anyone is in Sydney and hears of any part time jobs, can you swing them my way!

The christening was on Sunday and went really well. I will write a proper post about it when I get the photos off the fellas camera.

Hope all is well. Will write a proper update before the end of the week.

vx

Merry Christmas

2006-12-29T11:24:00.000+11:00

Hi There - hope you all had a lovely xmas and enjoyed some time out with your families and loved ones. I havent had time to update lately as my little Lila is becoming very good at sleeping and I hardly ever have time to sit at the computer (its in her room!)
Christmas was lovely this year. We went to Tuncurry for a couple of days to see my Mums side of the family. They are really lovely people and were so happy to see us and meet Lila.

It was also really nice to get some fresh air and take Lila for her first dip at the beach. We went to the breakwall at Tuncurry, which where I first learnt to swim, so we had to take her there!

She didnt seem to mind the water, but we only put her in for a couple of minutes - it was actually quite cool. How cute are her swimmers!!

Lila has been mostly good and pretty much everything is back to a semblance of normal. She is by no means perfect, but she is just beautiful and we love her to pieces! I think she is teething at the moment and is being a little bit difficult and whingey, but on the whole she is tops!

I am fine - have been enjoying the good life too much and can feel the weight creeping back on. But I am getting out there and catching up with friends and feeling myself again - which is just awesome.

Hope you all have a great new years eve and happy new year!!

take care

feeling good

2006-11-15T17:19:00.000+11:00

OK, Ok - I know I am slack - its just that the computer is in the baby's room and I dont get a lot of time in here at the moment!

You will all be pleased to know that I am doing much much better. Granted, it is assisted by medication, but I am coping so much better that I dont care. The anxiety has gone and I dont feel as depressed and desperate. Plus, I have such a beautiful baby that its hard to be stressed out all the time. Lila is growing every day and will be four months old next week. Its hard to keep up really. The sleep is getting better - she has a big sleep in the morning and 2 smaller sleeps during the rest of the day, and then sleeps all night. We are having problems getting her to sleep in the evening, but once she is down, we dont hear from her until 6-7am.

She is being very vocal at the moment. Squeals away with delight to herself. The best way I can describe it is that she sounds like a cat on heat, but its very cute!

What else is going on - well, we went to see U2 last Friday night. It was just fantastic and I am so pleased that I went. We have had our tickets for almost a year and I remember when I got them I was concerned that I would be too pregnant to go!! I get to go to a lot of shows and this would have to be up there with some of the best I have seen in my life. I was so happy!! I would have been even more happy if I had been at the Kylie show, where Bono joined her on stage to sing Kids, but hey, I cant have everything!

We also had our first full night without Lila the other weekend. She went to stay with her Grandmother over night and we went to a party for a couple of friends birthdays. It was so much fun to be out and have a sleep in but the house felt so quiet without her - we really missed her! Lila seemed to have a great time with her grandmother and her grandmother LOVED having her! Hooray!!

Oh and I am now back to my pre-pregnancy weight. In fact, I think I am a little smaller than I was back then, but I have no 'official' data as yet, so I will let you know how that is going. I do feel smaller and everyone keeps telling me that I look like I have lost weight - but I have had a baby after all!!

On a sad note, I just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear about Belinda Emmett. It still makes me sad to think that someone so young and beautiful could be taken by cancer. I feel so bad for Rove. My husband and I got married a couple of weeks after them and I cant imagine what he must be going through. Makes me want to tell everyone I know that I love them! Go and do the same you lot....

all the best
vxx

3 months old

2006-10-22T16:41:00.000+10:00

This is my beautiful Lila who turned 3 months old yesterday! I think she is divine! Thats all...

Lila

2006-10-19T17:42:00.000+10:00

Hey there - I dont have a great deal to report, but I wanted to post a pic of my beautiful daughter. This was taken a couple of weeks ago and she only just fits into this out fit now, but I havent popped any up since she was born and I thought I should share.
Will try and take some more this weekend and post them. She is 3 months old tomorrow and I really didnt think I would make it this far!
Oh and I went to a mums and bubs cinema session this morning. Very fun - good to be out there!
hope you have a good weekend
vx

sunny days

2006-10-18T16:15:00.000+10:00

Hey everyone - thanks to you all for your kind words and best wishes after my last post. Its been a hard couple of weeks, but I think we are getting there now and I am feeling much better. Having said that, things are not perfect and I am still having trouble getting Lila to sleep during the day. We just spent a week at Tresillian and they thought she was the perfect baby. Had no trouble getting her to sleep ever and we have even got her sleeping almost through the night, we at least until about 6.00am, which is pretty good I think. I think the week there was a good break and now she is 12 weeks old, we should really start to see some big differences in her.

I am feeling better and although I am still getting frustrated when Lila wont go to sleep, especially in the evening, I am feeling much better about everything. I even think I might start going back to WW. Not sure how I am going to manage it, but I think its time! Will either go to Newtown or Dullwich Hill - will have to see what suits us better. I think that I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight - which is surprising considering all the crap I have been eating. I guess I am not snacking constantly- I hardly find time to eat at all somedays. The mothers group meetings with pizza and wine probably arent helping much!

Not much else is going on. Will write again soon, but its good to back in the land of the living!

vxx

I'm back ( I think...)

2006-09-29T09:07:00.000+10:00

Hey everyone
Well - I think I am back. To say that the last 10 weeks have been hard is an understatement beyond belief. I never thought that having a baby would be so demanding, trying, difficult and stressful. My life has not been a Johnson and Johnson's commercial, but thankfully, finally, things are starting to settle down and I am starting to feel like my old self again.
Lila is 10 weeks old today. It feels like we have had her for the past 12 months at least. The first 6 weeks are a blur now, but I can tell you a few things.

1. Breast feeding is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Lila couldn't latch on properly. I had constantly aching boobs. I ended up with mastitis twice and after the second time I decided it was just too much stress. I wasnt happy, Lila wasnt happy and I thought it was best to stop. We went to the bottle and was giving her 3 feeds of formula and 3 feeds of breats milk up until last week. Now she is just on formula. She is much more settled and I feel more in control. Its nice to know that it made a difference. Everything started to turn around when I started bottle feeding and although I was adament that I would breast feed for at least 9 months, I think its turned out OK...
2. I am shocked that I had no idea what a big effect having a baby would have on my husband (lets call him A) and our relationship. From the minute we brought Lila home the tension started and I got concerned. I just thought that A couldnt handle the crying, so I nursed Lila to sleep thinking that it would ease the tension a little. It just made him mad that I would 'spoil' her and he didnt feel involved. He started coming home later and later and some nights he would go out and come back at 2am. I felt like a single mother. I could tell that he wasnt enjoying her, but sometimes I felt like he hated her. It was awful to feel so alone and without support. We had such a wonderful, loving relationship and it felt like it was dissapearing. I ended up going to stay at a friends place for a couple of days a) to get some help and b) to give him a break. I realised when I was away that he was a lot of the problem, but he didnt see it that way, and didnt want anything to do with the baby. It turns out he was really depressed and just not coping with any of it - the lack of sleep, the crying, the complete upheaval of our life. I think he is better now, he is starting to really bond with Lila. He actually said 'I love you' to her this morning - a big breakthrough!

3. I had post natal depression. I may still have it now but I am feeling so much better that I am fairly positive that I will be OK. I was in tears daily and really just not coping or enjoying anything about having Lila. It was just horrific. After sobbing on the phone to the community nurse and quite a few friends, I took myself to the GP who sent me to a psychiatrist. Funny thing though - when I finally went to see her I felt silly and wasnt really sure why I was there. The only thing that we talked about that made sense was the fact that I dont have my mum and the effect that would be having on me as a new mum. It sent me reeling for a couple of days, but then I calmed down a little. My best friend LM bought me a book called 'Motherless Mothers' by Hope Edelman. Its a tough read, but it really is starting to make sense of all the feelings I have had since Lila was born. I guess I really didnt factor any of this into how I would cope as a parent which is pretty silly! Now I feel like the haze has lifted and I can actually write this without welling up!

Lila has really settled down and is more content with her own company. I can leave her in her bed and she laughs and giggles at herself. Very cute - but not so cute at 3am! She is also sleeping better and will sometimes sleep 8 hours at a stretch which is just fabulous. She still doesnt really like sleeping in the day, but we go for lots of walks and she normally falls asleep in the pram (but not always!) We are booked into Tressilian next week for a whole week stay. I am so excited about it - I think it will just pull everything together. Sort out her sleeping and feeding and just make me feel more confident about the job I am doing. I really wonder how teenage mothers cope - I guess they just dont have any expectations on themselves. I am a 35 year old, university educated, well travelled, together woman and it really threw me that I couldnt cope. Now I am finally enjoying my baby and feel like this is what I am meant to be doing.

I hope all is well in blog land and I will be posting more regularly now that things have settled down...

vxx

struggle

2006-08-12T16:16:00.000+10:00

This is hard work. I really didnt expect it to be this hard and I am struggling a little.
Lila is beatutiful, but she is very unsettled and I am having trouble breastfeeding. I may not be online for a while.
I am sure that it will get better and I know in a couple of weeks I will wonder what I was talking about. For the moment, its tough and I need to concentrate on getting this right and keeping myself together.
If anyone has any settling tips or words of wisdom, can you please pass them on.
Hope all is well out there. I will be back with better news when I can.
vxx

LILA MARIA

2006-07-31T17:43:00.000+10:00

Well I'm back and here are the first pictures of my brand new beautiful daughter Lila Maria. Thanks to Phillipa for announcing the news, but for those that didnt hear, she was born on Friday 21st June at 8.06pm, weighing in at 3.716kg and 50cm long. Its taken me this long to get my act together and post, but I am sure you all understand. I have been quite busy...

It all started ( well not really) on Thursday (20/07). I went to see my Obstetrician only to have him tell me it would be a while and to come back and see him after Tuesday. I was well over it by then and didnt really want to wait, but I figured I would probably be in hospital from Tuesday, which meant I would be there for my birthday on Wedensday. My darling hubby suggested we go out for a nice dinner as an early birthday celebration and last hurrah before the baby arrived, so he booked a table at Cafe Sydney which is one of our favourite places. I got all dressed up in my sexiest pregnancy outfit - the tight black dress with my boots and my cream coat and picked him up after work.

We had a lovely meal and some wine (just one glass for me) and he said he wanted to give me my birthday present. He gave me a lovely oi oi nappy bag and I was quite content with the lovely meal and the thoughtful gift. Then he tells me that he bought me another gift because it was a special birthday and I deserved it, tells me to close my eyes and pulls out a ring box - with a stunning white gold ring with 10 diamonds! I was totally shocked and super impressed that he had such perfect taste and could be so thoughtful. I then found out he had been planning it for 3 months and I had NO IDEA!! What a man! I am so lucky...

Anyway, we got home, I 'thanked him' for my diamonds and went to sleep, only to wake at 1.00am with strange pain. It wasnt awful, just a little uncomfortable, but I couldnt sleep, so I sat up and watched some bad TV. At about 6.00am, I woke my hubby and said to him 'I think we are having a baby today' and he looked at me confused. I got him to time my contractions for a while and then we called the hospital. By then they were about 7 mins apart and still uncomfortable, but not awful. I spoke to the midwife and she told me to come straight in - we started laughing. It didnt seem real... I leisurely had a shower and packed some stuff and we got to the hospital at about 9.00am. By then I was 6cm dialated and a bit uncomfortable, but it wasnt awful. The midwife was determined to get me to make a decision about pain relief then and there. I was always going to see how I went, but decided to get the gas ready. We put some music on (bjork, radiohead, jeff buckley) and just hung out - working through the contractions and talking and laughing in between - it was actually quite fun. Unfortunately, the action had stopped and I wasnt progressing.

By about midday, they suggested they try breaking my waters. I was not loving that idea and told them I had to think about it. I think it was about 2.00pm when they did and thats when it all got a bit yucky. They broke my waters (which was awful), the pain got worse and worse and I decided that I couldnt cope and didnt want to play anymore. I needed the epidural.

I have a fear of needles. I know most people do, but they make me cry. As soon as the anaesthetist came into the room I lost it and was a wreck for about an hour while he did his thing. But as soon as the drugs kicked in, I was calm and almost serene. By this time it was about 4.00pm and I was fully dialated by about 6.00pm, but my obstetrician was busy delivering another baby - so I had to wait... I was so exhausted from no sleep and the exhausting day that I fell asleep waiting for him. Just incase you dont know, you can feel the pressure of the contractions, but not the pain, so it was OK. At about 7.30 he arrived and I he got me to push. She was a bit twisted around, so it took longer than expected but it wasnt too bad. Hard work though. I have no idea how women cope with no drugs - if anyone out there has managed it - big respect!!

When she was finally delivered, they held her up for me and I still had no idea if she was a boy or a girl. I was POSITIVE I was having a boy, so the shock of a girl took a while to sink in. She was born at 8.06pm. I got to hold her straight away and it was completely surreal. I couldnt believe I had done it and my baby was here. We named her Lila Maria. Lila is a name that I really liked and Maria is after my mum who passed away 21 years ago the day before she was born. Some kind of full circle I think...

She is a lovely baby. We are so thrilled to have her. Her sleeping is a little erratic and my boobs are REALLY sore, but she is just adorable. Will write more soon, but I just wanted to get her birth down in writing.

take care

vxx

waiting...

2006-07-18T09:20:00.000+10:00

Ok, so I officially have 6 days before this baby is due, but I was positive that it would come early and now that the time is getting so close, I am not so sure the baby realises that I want it to come early! Am feeling fine, but it really doesnt feel like anything is happening. I have had a little bit of back pain, but thats about it. So, I am starting to get a little bored - not working and not having a baby - kind of in limbo land. I know I should just relax and enjoy the quiet time, which is what I will try to do today, but I do feel like I am going a little stir crazy.

My lovely hubby took some wonderful belly shots on the weekend. I cant believe how huge I am at the moment. Its quite frightening. I will try and post some of them this week. He even took some 'nudey' ones - but I am not sure if I am game to put them on here - I will see how I feel on the day!

The strange thing is that my friend LM - whose baby was due 2 weeks after mine, had hers 4 weeks early. Her lovely little boy Harvey is fine, but smaller than estimates of my bub, so I have no idea how they cope scrunched up in that small space, or more importantly, how they get out!!
Its going to be an interesting journey to say the least, but I am ready for it (I hope!!)

The kitchen is in. It looks lovely but its not 'finished'. We need to tile the splashback and add some finishing touches like plants and maybe some kind of blackboard or pin board. It feels very white and stark, but its lovely! We were saving all our wedding presents for the 'new kitchen' so we have all new stuff - saucepans, appliances, cutlery, glasses - its like Christmas over here. Very exciting. Will post some pictures when its done, but that could be months away!

Finally, I wanted to send thoughts to Emily and Jonny. I just heard the heartbreaking news that they lost their precious baby and am devastated for them. We are all thinking of you...

Will update again when I have some news.
vxx

update

2006-07-06T21:05:00.000+10:00

My first week of maternity leave is almost over and quite frankly, I dont know how I had time to work. I have been so busy with appointments and housework and cleaning that I am seriously run off my feet. Its been fun, but I am amazed at how little lazing around I have actually been doing!

Just thought I would check in with a bit of an update. I am feeling huge, but fine, and the doctor says there is no indication that the baby will come early, so I still have 2 or so weeks to go. I am sure they will fly by, but it is hard to believe that by the end of the month I will have a child! I have been stressing slightly that we are not 'ready' in terms of having the right 'stuff', but it turns out since the baby shower, we have plenty of stuff and I have nothing to worry about. Once I unwrapped and sorted everything, I realized we have more than enough clothes, nappies, lotions, wraps and the like to last me a good couple of weeks, and I am sure we will get more once bub is born! So we are fine! I am feeling really calm about the birth, so I hope this feeling stays with me and I dont start freaking out. I am quite looking forward to seeing how I deal with the wole experience. Should be an interesting and wonderful time!

The kitchen update - looks like it will be going in this weekend! All the yucky sanding and painting were done last weekend, so its just the actual fixing of the cabinets that needs to be done and it doesnt look like a huge job, so I should have my kitchen by the end of the weekend. I know it will look fabulous and I know how eager my lovely hubby is to finish it, so it will be a joy for the both of us once its done! I will keep you posted.

Thats all for now. Tomorrow my mother-in-law wants to take me shopping and out to lunch. It will either be fabulous or scary. I will let you know. We have never done anything just the two of us before, so it will be interesting. She is so excited about being a grandmother, so it should be fun enough!

I just wanted to send a big hug to Phillipa. She is a very brave and inspiring woman and I just wanted her to know that I was thinking of her!

Hope you all have a great weekend!
vxx

One more day of work

2006-06-29T10:03:00.000+10:00

I cant believe that I have got to this time... Tomorrow is my last day of work for about 12 months. Its a weird one. I have worked here for nearly 9 years, but I am not leaving. I'm not going on holidays. I am leaving to have a baby. It feels quite surreal, like its happening to someone else. When I sit at my desk I am the same person, its not until I look down at my ever expanding belly that I realize that I am actually about to give birth to my own child.... Weird.

I have been feeling really well. Am still seeing the chiropractor and she is still my saviour. I feel better at this stage than I did a month ago. The pain relief is wonderful. I have however, finally put on the 10kg that I lost last year, and am starting to feel quite bulky. I was saying to the hubby last night that I feel sooo much bigger and awkward like this than I did when I was just fat, but I am carrying around the same weight. At least I know that in a couple of weeks time that I will lose some of it again. Really looking forward to hitting the pavement again and getting fit again. My goal is to be able to run 5kg non stop by the end of the year. I have never been able to run, so it will be amazing if I can do it.

I had a baby shower on the weekend. It was a little bit stressful, but lovely to have my girls around and have them so excited about the baby. I am really lucky to have such amazing and generous friends. We got such an amazing haul of gifts. It was quite overwhelming, and now I finally feel like I am little bit more prepared for bring home the little bundle. We got lots of wraps, blankets, towels, lovely sleeping bags, some beautiful outfits, quite a few toys, sheets, care packs of oils, bath wash, lotions, a fantastic set of bedding and a very funky mobile for the cot. The car was full of gifts. MIL also found his entire collection of hard cover Dr Seuss books that hubby had when he was a child. Really lovely and he was so excited! All I need now is a couple of sets of sheets and things like bibs and a nappy bag and I will be all sorted. A big change from having nothing at all. I am very glad that we decided to hold off buying anything until now. Plus, because we dont know what we are having, I want to wait to buy clothes, so we can get some funky coloured stuff. Not that we are planning on the typical pink for girls and blue for boys, but you know what I mean...

Now for the kitchen update - for the past 2 weeks, we have had an empty room with a fridge and no walls. The kitchen arrived last week, and is stitting in the dining room. All of the stuff from the kitchen and the dining room are sitting in the 'babies' room with all the presents from the baby showere and supplies (nappies etc). The house looks like a war zone. The bathroom has become a mini kitchen/ bathroom/ laundry. Our 'pantry' is a cardboard box on the lounge room floor. There is dirt and dust everywhere. Can you tell I am getting a little over it??! At this stage it looks like this weekend will be spent finishing preparing the room (sanding, painting, polishing the floor) and it will be next weekend that the actual kitchen goes in. So I will have a week at home where I cant really do any nesting. I should theoretically have a couple of weeks up my sleeve, but it wasnt the relaxing start to maternity leave that I was hoping for. Hubby is beside himself, and doesnt really know when he is going to get it all done, but we are on a bit of a deadline... I am trying not to stress, and sometimes I think, 'what does it matter? we will manage' but its hard to stay calm and reasonable when I am 37 weeks pregnant and the baby can theoretically come any time from NOW!!!

Anyway, enough of the vent. I am sure I will be better after this weekend - the sanding will be the worst. Once that is done I will be able to start cleaning upstairs at least!

Hope you all have a good week.
Will be online from home after tomorrow - life as we know it is about to change!
vxx

Georgia

2006-06-16T11:41:00.000+10:00

I finally got some pictures of my lovely niece Georgia! She seems like a lovely baby and I am really looking forward to getting to know her better!

May she have a lovely and blessed life!

baby boom

2006-06-16T11:19:00.000+10:00

How good has it been this week with all the beautiful babies being born? I loved Katie's story. I cant believe that she gave birth to her lovely Natalia in the ambulance. Awesome! And congratulations to Kellee who had her lovely baby this week also. All the best to the both of you and enjoy the next few weeks of bonding and special time! Very exciting!

I have 5 weeks to go until I can join the ranks of motherhood. Have decided to stay on at work for another week and now I will finish up on June 30th. Its partially due to how good I have been feeling since I discovered the chiropractor and partly because we are getting a kitchen installed at home over the next 2 weeks and I dont want to be sitting at home in the demolition zone when I should be nesting! I will be fantastic when its done, but I am not really looking forward to the next few weeks without a kitchen. We have a microwave and a BBQ with a gas burner, but I cant see myself standing out in the cold of the morning making porridge! So there will lots of toast and cereal and a bunch of BBQ's and takeway but thats OK! It will be worth it to have a beautiful clean kitchen with storage and a dishwasher and space. Bring it on! I will be sure to take some before and after shots and post them here in a couple of weeks!

This weekend will be demolishing the old kitchen - hubby can do that. He insists that I go out for lunch with the girls and go and get some pampering - so I am getting a pedicure on Sunday. Its just so that I am not hanging around nagging him, but its a good excuse to be a bit spoilt!

Hope you all have a great weekend!
vxx

Oh My God...

2006-06-06T11:28:00.000+10:00

I just wanted to share something with you all. You may have read that I have been complaining a little about a bit of pelvic pain that I have suffering with during this pregnancy. It has been quite horrible at times, affecting my sleep and definitely my moods. I spoke to my Obstetrician about it and he said it was just normal 'wear and tear' and I had to live with it. Finally yesterday, I thought enough is enough and went to see a chiropractor. In 15 minutes, she fixed 3 months of agony. I cant believe how much better I feel and how this has been affecting my mood. Its like someone turned on the light today. I am going to see her again tonight, and hopefully I wont have to suffer with much more pain for the next 6 weeks (yep, thats all I have left...)
Just wanted to share
hope you are all having a good day
vx

more belly shots

2006-06-05T12:52:00.000+10:00

Last weekend we headed down to Watsons Bay for a lovely sunday afternoon with the dogs. It was very sunny, but also quite chilly. Even so, it was lovely to be in the fresh air and be free. I am suffering a little with some pelvic pain, which seems to be getting worse at the moment, so walking isnt the most comfortable thing to do, but I am trying to do a little bit every couple of days. Besides, the doctors recommend 20 mins of walking most days to keep my blood sugar down and that is my priority at the moment.

I really like this shot (apart from the litttle bit of belly that is showing under my top!). I was determined not to be a frumpy pregnant woman, so am wearing mostly tight tops and my awesome jeans that I got from Target for $35, and will probably last me until I pop!

Just one more for you for today. Its a bit far away, but its a nice photo. Its of the lighthouse at Watsons Bay. You can just see my 2 little pooches in the bottom. The little one has just been speyed, so we were expecting her to be really sooky that weekend, but she was a trouper! She is becoming very affectionate and I cant help but start to really like her. It was hard at first, because the older one Sabi, was the perfect dog, and she has been quite scatty and a bit of a pain, but I think she will improve! I will get some closer pics up soon - they are very cute (both poodle crosses) and I might even get a pic of my DH! We wonder how the dogs will cope when the baby comes, but I am sure we will manage! They will be a bit jealous tho at first.

I spent the weekend reading a great book 'Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer'. It was recommended by a friend of the hubby's and had some great advice on routines, sleeping and feeding. It had made me quite excited about the baby coming and I feel a bit better about having the knowledge and the support to deal with what is going to happen in the next few months!

Have another appointment this week, so will find out my weight gain on Friday. I think its around 7kg, so thats not too bad with 6 weeks to go!! Eeek!!

Hope you all have a good week.

vxx

cute pic for a friday

2006-05-26T15:55:00.000+10:00

Just thought this was cute

Hope you all have a great weekend!

vxx

I am an Auntie!!

2006-05-25T12:34:00.000+10:00

Just wanted to share the news - my sister in law had a baby girl early this morning. Her name is Georgia Maria. I think she is around 3kg - I saw her and her mum this morning (she was in the same hospital as my obstetrician) and she was tiny with lots of dark hair. Am going to see her again properly tonight - very excited!

I went to see the specialist today about my diabetes. It doesnt sound like a huge problem, I just have to watch what I eat and do a little bit of exercise every day. I think I can manage that. I still have only put on around 6kg (although the scales at the specialist say that I have put on 8kg) - either way I am still lighter than I was a year ago, so I cant be doing too bad!

I have about 4 weeks left of work, and we are having our new kitchen installed soon, so its all happening in my world at the moment. Its going to be a crazy 2 months!

Will try and get some photos of my little niece in the next few days and post them for you all.
Hope you are all having a good week
vxx

It was too good to be true.

2006-05-18T09:23:00.000+10:00

I am sure this is nothing to worry about, but I got a call from my doctors office yesterday and she told me that my glucose tolerance test came back with high sugar levels and I have gestational diabetes. All I was told was not to freak out, and that I would have to see a specialist next week after my regular obstetrician visit.

My thoughts are that if it was of any serious concern that I would have to see someone about it immediately, so I am worried, but not too worried.

Just wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this. I have done a bit of reading and it seems that I have a lot of the indicators, being

being overweight;
having a family history of diabetes; (my maternal grandmother was diabetic)
being older than 30.

I am just a bit dissapointed because I have been quite good with my eating and not put on too much weight, so I was thinking I wouldnt have to deal with anything like this...

I am going to stay positive and try and be as healthy as I can. One of the main issues that can arise from GD is having a large baby, and I really want to try to have a 'normal' delivery, so I am going to eat well, stay away from the lolly cupboard and do a bit more excercise - and DRINK MORE WATER!!

Will update more after I see the specialist. Hope you are all having a good week.

vxx

what's with bananas?

2006-05-15T13:08:00.000+10:00

Just a little whinge...
I just went to my local IGA supermarket and they were selling banana's for $13.99/ kg!! I know there was a horrible hurricane in FNQ and there is a terrible shortage, but what am I supposed to do about my banana cravings - I am pregnant after all.
I dont mean to sound self centred and I do feel bad about all of those farmers and residents who have lost their homes and livelyhood, but I am really missing my banana fix!
Thats all - I just had to vent...
vx

finally... the bump revealed!

2006-05-09T11:04:00.000+10:00

Greetings - what a beautiful day it is today? Still my favourite weather - I love it! It was quite chilly this morning, but thats OK. Starting to think of what its going to be like getting up and feeding a new born in the middle of the night in July. Its going to be cold.....

I have finally got around to uploading some pics. These are the ones taken in Pearl Beach.

I know they were only taken 2 weeks ago, but I feel like I have had a major growth spurt since then and feel much bigger than I look in these pics!

My hubby is insistant that we go out and do a 'photo shoot' pretty soon to document me as a pregnant woman. I am quite looking forward to it, but I know I will have to be in the mood. I want to take some pics in my dress, and I may even do some tasteful nudey shots. Just imagine Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair (but I will look nothing like her!!).

We have finally started getting organised and got a few things for the bub - have borrowed a bassinette and a change table, and bought ourselves a pram - can you believe that is the first thing we have actually bought! I cant believe how laid back I am being - but really, I dont want to go over board. All I really need to get now is the capsule for the car and some nappies and we will be sorted for the time being. I know there are plenty of other things I should get (like clothes and wraps and stuff) but I am sure they will be appear....

Start my ante natal classes this week - I think this will be the start of it becoming very very real... Will let you all know how it goes!

Hope you all have a great week. Enjoy this glorious weather and smile at the wonderful news of the miners being freed!

vxx

my favourite time of the year

2006-04-28T09:35:00.000+10:00

I love this time of year. There is still a chill in the air and but the days are warm and clear. There is nothing better than a bright blue sky, warmth from the sun and a little bit of nip in the air. It really is my favourite! All is good with me. I am feeling well and happy. Work is busy, and a little bit challenging (especially the 7 flights of stairs I need to walk up every morning to get here...) and all is progressing well with the pregnancy. I went to see the doctor this week. He was very happy with how things are going. I have no complaints and although I have started putting on a little bit of weight, its only 6 kg since I fell pregnant, which I am OK with. Infact, I still weigh less than I did this time last year (when I hit 90kg). My goal when I fell pregnant was to try to not reach 100kg, and at this rate I dont think I will get near it! Lets just see what the next few months have in store for me. I have 12 weeks to go. Where did the time go?

Have had a pretty busy couple of weeks of late. Very social and busy which is still tiring me out, but is all good. Easter was spent catching up with lots of friends (especailly those with kids) and eating too much! Last weekend we went to a beautiful spot called Pearl Beach near Woy Woy just out of Sydney. There were 6 of us and we hired a house just near the beach. Spent the whole weekend eating and reading and relaxing. It was just lovely. The others all insisted that I should take it easy in 'my condition', so wouldnt let me help with the cooking or washing up, which was such a treat as I feel that's all I do when I am at home. The place is beautiful - just over an hour out of Sydney and its feels like you are a world away. The house we got was lovely and really reasonable for the weekend for 3 couples, and the beach is really nice with lots of beautiful rock formations and places to walk. The hubby took a few shots of me highlighting the bump, so I will get him to help me put them in a post. Some of them turned out quite nice.

Its been great having all these 4 day weeks and I am dreading the thought of a full week next week, although work has been kind enough to find me a parking spot so I dont have to catch the train in which will make it so much easier for me to get to work. I only have 8 weeks left until I go on maternity leave, so it will be interesting to see what these next few weeks hold.
I hope I manage ok...

I wanted to say a HUGE congratulations to the beautiful and inspiring Philippa who reached goal this week. You are so amazing and gracious about everything you do! Well done to you!

Also, I have a baby question if anyone can help me. The boys name we have picked out is the same as a friend of ours baby (a close-ish friend who we have only recently started spending time with, but we are likely to see quite a bit of them in the next few years). We are thinking of using the shortened version of the name but the husband thinks we cant because its too close - its the only name that I like (for a boy). Is it still OK to use it, or should I just get over it and find another one? I am really struggling with this one!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend and I will be back sooner rather than later!
vxx

Pregnant Woman Shouldnt Stay Up Past Midnight

2006-04-06T16:43:00.000+10:00

I am exhausted today. Just got back to work after a 2 day conference. Two nights after midnight are not that great for a pregnant lady! I cant complain too much - at least I got some sleep and I am not hung over like the rest of the office. Most of them were out drinking until 5.00am! I cant imagine ever doing that again. The conference was at Doltone House at Pyrmont and we spent 2 days listening to music and hearing about how good we were! The night were taken up by lots of food, drinking (by all but me) and a couple of bands - over the 2 days we saw Pete Murray, Augie March, Something For Kate, Shannon Noll, Human Nature, Alex Lloyd and some new acts like Kate Miller-Heidke and The Inches. I am pretty lucky to have this job, but sometimes I wish I could just be at home with the hubby on the couch - I think I am getting too old for this!!

Have been pretty busy for the past few weeks. The trip to Peppers Anchorage Resort in Port Stephens was divine. Its such a beautiful spot and we had a really relaxing time. Just hung out - did a spot of fishing, went for a swim and a really lovely walk along the beach. The hubby was really excited about going fishing and was rigging up his brand new rod in the hotel room, when the knife he was using to cut of a bit of plastic slipped and found its way into his hand. We had been at the hotel for 10 minutes and I was already running around frantically looking for bandages - we quickly found out that the wound was quite deep and would need stiches, so I drove him all around Nelson Bay looking for a medical centre! He got 3 stiches in the end, and the doctor said that he was very lucky that there didnt appear to be any nerve damage. If that was the case we would have had to go to the hospital in Newcastle for hand surgery! Hows that for a bit of holiday excitement! The minute we got back to the hotel - all he wanted to do was fish! He is hooked - pardon the pun!!

The resort is beautiful - I highly recommend it if you ever get the chance. Very secluded and right on the marina - if you like expensive boats (like we do) you will be in heaven. We hired a little run about for a day and fished for a couple of hours - caught a few but nothing worth keeping - it was just peaceful and relaxing (until the sea sickness kicked in - I am pretty sure it was pregnancy related, I never get sea sick normally)...

Nights were spent at the RSL which is always fun in those coastal holiday places! We also had a lovely dinner in one of the waterfront restaraunts - nice!

Always nice to get away...

Pregnancy is going well. Have been feeling well and I went to see the obstetrician last week and all is fine! I have put on a total of 2 kg since I got pregnant. 2. Can you believe it? I actually went and bought some maternity clothes on the weekend and everything was size 14, which means I have dropped a dress size! I find that quite astounding after trying to lose weight and struggling and now it doesnt seem to be a big issue. The other thing is that I am really embracing my growing belly and wearing quite tight clothing. I always used to wear baggy tops and things that didnt cling, but now I am loving the snugness. I bought a really beautiful black dress to wear to my gala dinner last night - stretchy and tight, it hugged my belly and made it look HUGE and I LOVED it. So many people commented on how flattering it was (and the best bit was that it was on sale and it was a MEDIUM!!)

At week 25 now. Feeling very pregnant and finally look like a proper pregnant woman. Its awesome! My only slight issue is that I think i have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. It causes me quite a lot of pain some days and some days I dont notice it. I think I might go and see a chiropractor, as my doctor is a bit old fashioned and just says that its normal pregnancy wear and tear and tells me not to worry about it. The issues I have is that I have to walk up a lot of stairs to get to work and I dont want to have problems when I want to give birth naturally. Will see what the chiro says..

Hope all is well in blogland. We bought a new camera last week, so I will try and post some belly shots next post!

have a great week, until next time vxx

Yes, I'm still here!

2006-03-21T20:47:00.000+11:00

Well, havent I been slack of late? Its been over a month since my last entry and I must admit I am a bit ashamed of myself. I guess I dont really feel like there is much going on, even though we are really busy and there doesnt seem like time to stop and take a breath.

A quick recap - baby stuff seems to be coming along well. The bump is well and truly showing now and I have even gone out and bought myself some maternity clothes. I am really liking showing off my belly - its a proud little status symbol!! The good news is, last time I went to the docs, all was fine and I had only put on 1kg from where I was before I got pregnant! I am pretty happy with the way the weight thing is sitting. A lot of people have even told me that I look like I have lost weight. I am eating lots (but trying hard to eat lots of the right things) and doing a bit of exercise, but I am definitely not dieting so dont any of you worry that I am trying NOT to put on weight deliberately! Its starting to feel like I am getting a bit bigger now, so my next doctors vist (next week) will be the true indication! I have also started to feel the baby move a lot more, which is weird and also very exciting! Its all becoming more and more real... On a slightly worrisome note, I fainted on the train this morning - probably more to do with the fact that the train was packed and I was hot rather than anything serious. I am going to have to catch a different train, or at least get myself a seat in the morning, because if my hubby wasnt with me it would have been much more horrible than it actually was! I dont think its my blood pressure, but I will make sure I ask the doc about it next week.

We started the baby shopping on the weekend. Basically just looking for a cot and a pram. My dear friend Kim has offered to lend us hers (when she decides she wants to stop at 2 kids and not go for another!) but until she makes that decision, we need a back up plan. It was pretty full on traipsing around the shops with so many other pregnant women - and who knew how expensive everything was! We say a couple of prams at around the $1500 mark, which I just found horrendous! We settle on a mid range (@ $300) pram that was very light and easy to carry. I dont really mind what it looks like as long as it doesnt give me grief and I can lift it up the stairs! We also had the mother in law come with us on Sunday - night mare! She is claiming to be an expert on all things baby - based on the fact that she had 1 child, 31 years ago. It was really painful and it was such a relief that the hubby mentioned it first. I guess its pretty funny - that old mother in law cliche, but it really was a trial. We didnt buy anything - have decided to wait until Kim decides and then we will go from there!

I have been geing to the gym a fair bit - started doing aqua aerobics! The class is full of oldies and much bigger ladies, but you can work as hard as you want to and I actually find it a good low impact work out! I am surprised at how puffed I get, but also surprised at how hard I can work. The instructor is always giving me the safe option which is really good. She said I shouldnt get too hot and cook the baby! I am a bit scared at how tight my bathers are already though - I just assumed they would stretch and I wouldn't have to worry about getting a bigger one, but it really feels like they are going to break! How embarressing would that be??!!

Looking forward to this weekend - we are going away to Peppers Resort at Port Stephens. I have been there before on a work conference a couple of years ago, but it will be so nice for just the two of us to go there together and relax. We have been running around so much lately and trying to get the house in some semblance of order for when the baby comes, that it will be so nice to hire a dingy and go fishing or just lay by the pool and read. I really want to order room service and eat breakfast in bed! I am sure it wil be lovely. Also great to get Friday off work! We were planning on going to Vietnam for our holiday this year, but we just dont have the time, so we have booked in a couple of weekends away, just so we get some 'us' time in before July...

Its all good. I have been reading all your blogs regularly and keeping up with all the news. I cant wait until the beautiful Phillipa reaches goal - I will be soo excited for her! And I want to send my love to Mary who seems to be having a rough time right about now!

Still loving the Biggest Loser. Loved it tonight with the makeovers - Kristy is looking beautiful and how amazing did Shane look without that beard! I love it when you can really start to see the change in people - its just really inspiring! Just like you all...
Have a great week
love vx

introducing

2006-02-23T09:49:00.000+11:00

I thought you might all like to have a look at the first pictures of our little one - 19 weeks young and doing well.

Dr says it has all the right bits in all the right places, so I look forward to getting to know them better when they get out here!
Am starting to look properly pregnant now (at least in tight clothes), but have taken to wearing baggy clothes, so no one has really noticed. I am almost half way there, so its hard to believe that in around 4 or 5 months I will have myself a baby. Very excited.

In other news, all the changes have now been announced at work and I was deemed not ready to be put into a managers role, so will stay in my current position with a different boss. I was extremely dissapointed as you can imagine, and have said barely 2 words to my current boss. I really have lost all respect for him and have complained to HR about the way he dealt with everything. I mentioned that I had told him that I was expecting, and she knew nothing of it and was involved in the decison making. Instead of being bitter and sulky, I have spoken to HR at length and we are developing a plan to have me move into the role that I want before I go on maternity leave. I am determined to show them that I can do it!

Going to try to have a fairly healthy and productive weekend. On Saturday I am going to a prenatal yoga class with my pregnant buddy, and then possibly going to the gym. Sunday, the hubby is in the final of the bowls pairs (he plays comp lawn bowls - he is too funny), so I will be up early to cheer him on and in the evening we are heading down to the domain for Tropfest. Its tricky doing the picnic thing when you have to be careful about what you can and cant eat, but I am sure we will manage. I also am really missing my glass of wine at social events, but its a small price to pay!

We need to start sorting out what we need for the baby, and although we really dont want to go overboard, we want to be prepared, so any suggestions on MUST HAVES will be very much appreciated!

Oh, and I am LOVING The Biggest Loser. Even the hubby is addicted. Am finding it really inspirational, my main problem is that its on at precicely the time that I would normally go out and exercise. Last night I had to bite the bullet and went for a lap around centenial park while the hubby was at football training!

Thats all from me - hope you all have a great week!

vxx

cricket feast

2006-02-13T15:44:00.000+11:00

I just had to share this little story about the people that were sitting in front of us at the cricket yesterday.
A bunch of about 5 guys turned up with a styrofoam box and an esky. Through the course of the day, this is what I saw them eat....

A BBQ Chicken, ripped up and put into buttered rolls
A cheese platter with stilton, chedder and pate on crackers

then it got interesting...

fresh prawns
1/2 LOBSTERS - yes these guys brought LOBSTERS to the cricket!!

the next time I looked up, they were eating

individual creme caramels in bowls
then, a packet of tim tams, some grapes, one bar of lindt dark chocolate orange chocolate -

it was at this point that I yelled out 'I hate these people, have they got an expresso machine in that box' and the guy turned around and gave me a square. I felt a bit sheepish, but god it was good.

Then there was another block of lindt chocolate.

I mean, who brings that kind of stuff to the cricket? And the funny thing was, that there wasnt a woman in sight. We couldnt work out what kind of men would be organised enough to bring that kind of food to the cricket - LOBSTER AND CREME CARAMEL.... It was very weird, but a little bit inspiring! Where was the moet and the sashimi, and the truffles and the fresh oysters... Any other suggestions from blog land?

vx

Wonderful weekends

2006-02-13T09:46:00.000+11:00

Well, despite being a little sunburnt and sore, I had a wonderful weekend. Yesterday was my 2nd wedding anniversary and we had a wonderful day. Started in the morning with pressie - hubby bought me a beautiful black pashmina. You are supposed to give cotton on your 2nd anniversary - neither of us could think of anything! So the pashmina (being wool) is not actually cotton, but he figured it was a natural fibre so it would pass! He is too funny!

Went to Zen in Darlinghurst for a massage. They have this beautiful couples room where you can get massaged together. It was really lovely. Although, I am bit concerned as I find the massage thing really uncomfortable. I spend the whole time wincing with pain and wondering when the relaxing will start, and before I know it is over and I feel more tense than when I started. I am loathe to admit that to most people (especially the hubby) but I just dont enjoy it. And I know that its not just because he wasnt a good masseuse, because I have felt this way on previous occasions. Am I weird? I feel like I am weird, cause massages are good right? Oh well, I can spend my $$ on other things! So today my back is sore. I think he hurt me...

Then we headed off to the cricket. It was an awesome day. The hubby and I decided that we were both equally into the game - you know how normally one person is more into it than the other. Most guys think thats weird, but I am quite happy with the synergy of that! We took water and lots of healthy snacks from home and completely avoided the pies, hotdogs and hot chips that we usually get sucked into. And because I stayed away from the alcohol (not by choice mind you) I walked away at 10.00pm, and felt great! It was however very hot! And we were in the full full sun all day. Luckily the people we were with had sunscreen and I broke my no hat wearing rule and donned a cute little cowboy number, but I still got a little burnt on my chest. Well a lot burnt and I look silly! The game was great, really fun crowd and a really good day... and Australia won, so that always helps!

The rest of the weekend was also fun. On Saturday we did what we have been talking about for 2 years and picked out, designed and put a deposit on my new kitchen. I am so excited. I keep calling it my kitchen, because I do most of the cooking, cleaning and washing up, but it is our kitchen. Its from smartpack kitchens, a company in Stanmore that sells you the kitchens and you put them together yourself (aparently in a weekend!!). We spent a little more than we were expecting, but it will look awesome and sooo much better that the wood-slate-no storage-no bench space-door's falling off mess that we have now! We also went out for a lovely dinner with some friends to a place in Summer Hill called Pier 26. Probably not WW friendly, but really lovely seafood and great value for money!

On the baby front, I am getting a belly and feeling great. I dont feel tired at all and am looking forward to when I actually look pregnant, so people dont think I am getting fat again! I am sure that people round here are starting to think I am Oprah!! Not much planned this week. We dont really celebrate Valentines day, so I wont have any goss from tomorrow, but I am having my 19 week scan on Monday, so I should have pics and news from that! I cant believe that I am almost at the half way mark - who would have thought it!

Hope you all have a great week. I am very jealous that I missed the bloggers lunch on Saturday. I looks like you all had a wonderful day! Top stuff!
vxx

the news is out there

2006-02-06T12:13:00.000+11:00

Well, I finally got around to letting my boss know about the baby on Friday - considering I am 17 weeks, its amazing that he had NO IDEA! The good news is that he was over the moon excited and agreed to keep it to himself, as well as pushing all the change of role stuff forward to this week. I am pretty sure it was the right thing to do, and I feel so relieved that I dont have to hide it from work anymore. I have told a few of my close work mates who are estatic, but am going to wait another week or so before I share the love with everyone!

I cant tell you how good it feels to be able to relax about it all. I am felling well (if not a little concerned about my growing belly!) but I know that I need to do a bit more exercise. Its been hard the past few weeks with my conference and the hubby's birthday, but I have no excuse now and have to start moving again!

Today is the 4 year anniversary of meeting my husband. We met at a dodgy bar in the city on a Tuesday night at something like 3am, so I woke him up this morning at 3am to wish him happy anniversary! He is the best and I am so lucky to have him in my life! This Sunday is our 2nd wedding anniversay - how's this for a day of contrasts - we are going to day spa and getting a couple's massage in the morning and in the afternoon we are going to the cricket final! I think its hillarious, but I know it will be a great day. I will just have to see how I go at the cricket without any beer!!

Hope you are all having a happy monday!
vxx

a moment of clarity

2006-02-03T10:26:00.000+11:00

Am in a much better mood today. Have decided to not go ahead with any further testing. There is a 0.16% chance of there being something wrong, and I figure that is small enough for me. The hubby went out last night, so I didnt get a chance to discuss it with him, so when we talked about it this morning, we both had made exactly the same decision for exactly the same reason, so it must be the right one!

Have a fun weekend planned. Actually doing a tour of Paddys Markets tomorrow - its a special tour of the asian food section (part of the chinese new year celebrations) and then we are going to a friends 30th, where we get to spread more baby love!

Hope you all have a great weekend!
vxx

Where does the time go?

2006-02-02T14:39:00.000+11:00

Apologies for my quietness again this week. I was on a work conference for the first half of the week and no where near a computer. It was a great couple of days, and let me just tell you, the Hilton in Sydney has great food if you ever have a conference there! Just try and stay away from the cakes!

Thanks again to everyone for all the comments and advice you have left over the past few weeks. I am sincerely overwhelmed that there are so many people that take the time to be interested in my humble little life. Although I have not told work, I have decided that I am going to tell them sooner rather than later. It is getting too far into it and I am sick of hiding what should be something worth celebrating. Besides, I really do think that they will be more pissed off with me if I wait another 4 weeks and tell them after I get the job, 'by the way, I am going on maternity leave in 4 months'... Many people I have spoken to about this have said I am damned if I do and damned if I dont, so I would rather do what makes me feel more comfortable.

I went to see my obstretrician again today and finally got my results back. Unfortunately, they were not as glowing as I would have hoped, and although they still are well within the low risk category, I am still not comfortable with the risk they pose. I am feeling quite disturbed and distracted which I dont think is good for me or the baby. I guess noone said this would be easy, but I didnt expect there to be this many decisions to make this early on. I will decide what is right in the next few days. If I decide to have further testing, there is a slight risk of further complications so we just have to work out what is more important to us.

On a lighter note, it was my hubby's birthday yesterday. I bought him a Sydney Swans jersey a couple of months ago (I would haven given it to him for christmas, but we decided not to do christmas presents last year when we found out we were having a baby), so I have been hanging on to it, to give to him as a present. Well, imagine my delight when I found out that the guest speaker at our conference was none other than Paul Roos, the coach from the Sydney Swans. I took it in with me and got him to sign it on Tuesday, and gave it to hubby yesterday. He was so excited he nearly cried. It was so cute. Its so lovely to give someone a present that they really love. I took him out to dinner last night to a restaurant in newtown called Oscillate Wildly. If you ever get a chance I really recommend it! The food is lovely and fresh, the menu changes every 2 weeks and is always interesting and a little bit unusual, and they do 3 courses for $45, which is such good value for a great dining establishment. And the best bit is that it is BYO, so that helps keep the costs down. I'm not drinking at the moment as you can imagine, so it was very funny watching hubby trying to drink almost the whole bottle on his own. He was a hoot! I had a small glass as it was a special occasion, but it was a very small glass!! We had a lovely night and he had a really lovely birthday!

So on that note I must be off. Thanks again for all your interest and support and I promise to be back soon, and a little less distracted...

take care
vx

2006-01-25T09:13:00.000+11:00

Thanks so much to everyone for your lovely comments and support from my last couple of posts. I am so impressed by how lovely everyone in blogland is and its a great place to be at the moment! The overwhelming consensus is that you are still interested in my baby bump stories, so I will continue to share them with you!

So, I still havent heard from the specialist, and since its been 10 days since I saw him, and he told me that he would have the results in 3 days and call me if there was anything to be concerned about, I have decided that everything is OK and I can relax. I have to go and see my Dr next week and I guess I will get the full update then, but I think all is OK. I am feeling so much better, less tired and more normal. I am starting to show, which is part fun and part distressing, but mostly fun!

Now I have a little dilema that I need to share with you all. Any feedback or suggestions are very welcome. Anyone in HR, may know the answer, but I am really stumped! I have been talking to my boss over the past few months about making my job a managers position, which will in turn mean more money, more responsibilty and a bit more say in what happens in this place. I am not so concerned about the $$, but everything will help at the moment as we need to save for when I am on maternity leave. Yesterday, I spoke to my boss again (for the 2nd time this year) about this, and it was confirmed that my role will definitely change and decisions will be made in the next 4 weeks - the whole department is being re-thunk, and there will be a lot of changes over the that time. I am now 15 weeks pregnant and starting to show. Do I wait until after the decisions have been announced before telling him or tell him now and hope for the best? I have been here for 8 years, and this is the closest I have come to negotiating a job that I REALLY want, and I am scared that I will blow it! Its very confusing - I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I dont!

I get the feeling that if I do the right thing by them, they wont do the right thing by me. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice for me? I feel like I am screwed!

Apart from that I am really happy and well - eating properly and feeling good!

Hope everyone is feeling great too!
vxx

Thought I would give this a go...

2006-01-20T10:11:00.000+11:00

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
1996 - I was living in London and working HMV on Oxford Street. I was living with my lovely friend Irene and my bestie Scott (he was gay, we shared a bed for a year - dont ask..) I had very little money, but was going out a lot and clubbing alot (as you do in London). Also had a chance to travel quite a bit - went to Italy and Belgium. I was in love with Jarvis Cocker from PULP and a guy from my work called Chris! I came home that year - via New York and hated being back in Sydney, but ended up sharing a house in Newtown with 2 girl friends - and so my love affair for the inner west began!

2. What were you doing a year ago?
A year ago I had just started at the newly merged SONY BMG. It was all very strange being in a new environment after working in the same building with the same people for 7 years. It was a strange time. I was also planning my wedding - getting a bit stressed, but also very excited about the big day. I think it was about this time last year that my hubby sat me down and said 'do we really need to do this?' and I actually said to him 'if you want to cancel, its your call, but you have to think about it for a couple of days', because that is the caring understanding woman that I am! After I had planned the whole thing, invited EVERYONE and booked everything. Thankfully he came to his senses (he was just nervous) and we are happier now than we have ever been!

3. Five snacks I enjoy: (god this is a hard one)

home made pizza on lebanese bread
cheese, olives, pickles and wine (not so much wine at the moment)
oysters
fruit toast or date scones
weight watchers chocolate mousse, layered with diet rasberry jelly, topped with strawberries, in a kind of parfait - try it, its very YUM!

4. Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:

I am reknowned for knowing lots of lyrics to lots of songs, but I will try and pick 5 (my favourite karaoke tunes)

Especially For You - Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan
All My Life - Foo Fighters
Common People - PULP
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
Better man - Robbie Williams

5. Five things I would do if I were a millionaire, apart from donating to charity:

Buy the dream house with water views
Get my hubby the best digital SLR camera I can find
travel the world, possibly even move to Thailand and start my own guest house
Open our own business - a beauty salon especially for men
cure my insomnia

6.Five Bad Habits:

surfing the net at work
half finishing projects (knitting, crafts etc)
watching too much TV
not keeping in touch with my family
grooming my hubby (dont ask!!)

7. Five Things I Enjoy Doing:

cooking
going to gym (when I actually get there)
going out for breakfast
suduko
going to the cinema

8. Five Things I Would Never Wear (or buy):

shorts
strapless tops or dresses
high heel shoes to work
a bikini (what was I thinking?)
I dont do hats, ever

9. Five favourite toys:

I'm not really a toy person, so this is a tough one

my dogs
my sunglasses
my CD collection
the new smoothie blender
the air conditioning in our house (what a godsend!)

I wasnt tagged on this, I just thought it would be fun to do! Feel free to do it yourself if you wish!

down-ward dog

2006-01-19T16:52:00.000+11:00

Yes I know I have been quiet and I am sorry about that. I have been around and reading other people blogs, which I am loving, but I have just been absorbed with my own thoughts and as I havent been focusing on the weight thing, I am feeling a bit out of the 'group'!

Everything is fine. I am back at work, so trying hard to stay off the net. Well maybe the trying hard bit is a lie! Work has been OK. Moments ofbusy and moments of boredom. Its really tricky to focus and resist the urge not to tell everyone my news. I am starting to think that its not even real, except for the fact that my clothes are all starting to get tight around the waist. Its rather bizzare as people are still noticing the weight that I have lost and commenting on how great I look (which is lovely) and I know in a couple of weeks they will be noticing the ever growing belly!

I had my 12 week scan last week, which actually showed that I was 14 weeks gone, so that knocked 2 weeks off the whole thing. Things looked great with the baby, but some results were a little scary. I had to have a follow up test (also on Friday) and they told me they would let me know in 3 days if the results were bad. I havent had a call yet, so fingers crossed I can start to relax and enjoy this time. Being pregnant should be exciting and thrilling, but instead I still feel aprehensive and really scared. After tomorrow, I will put my relaxing boots on and start to love the ride!

My exciting news is that I had lunch with 2 close girlfriends last week on 2 seperate days. And BOTH of them are pregnant as well. Not as far along as me, but still - I am so excited to have friends to share this with!! The best part is, my dear friend LM is my oldest mate. We have known each other since we were little and my mum and her mum were friends and they always used to tell this great story about how they used to 'bounce tummies' together when they were pregnant with us! (we were born 3 days apart). Now we get to carry on the tradition! I am so thrilled for her and for us both.

On the food front - I have been pretty ordinary. Having too many snacks (trying really hard to keep them healthy ones) and I have only been to the gym twice a week for the past few weeks. I did a yoga class last week and it felt like I pulled a muscle in my ass!! I think it was from all the 'down dogs'. The pain has gotten progressively worse and it now feels like my lower spine is out of alignment. I am trying to talk myself out of it (it actually worked yesterday), but I did 50 mins cross country on the treadmill last night and its a little bit sore today. I think the worst is over, so everything should be fine!

I hope everyone is having fun out there. I will try and blog more regularly, I just hope you dont tire of the baby bump stories!!

take care vxx

and another thing

2006-01-05T09:36:00.000+11:00

I just wanted to let you know that I went to visit my obstetrician yesterday. We get weighed every visit as a matter of course, which I would think was fairly normal. The strange thing is that I have lost 3kg since my last visit a month ago, and am now sitting at 76kg!
I have gone from weighing 90kg (almost 20kg overweight - infact being obese) , when I started WW about 5 months ago to now only being 5kg overweight, which is such a blessing going into this pregnancy!
My body will truly thank me for this is a couple of months time! Gotta love a bit of forward thinking!
Happy days vxx

The Happiest Of New Years

2006-01-04T09:20:00.000+11:00

Thought it was time to return for the year. I am not back at work yet, but decided to give this a go on the home PC. So far so good.
We had a great Christmas - spent Christmas eve with the family and all of Christmas Day at our friends Lachlan and Andria's. It was so relaxing and peaceful and yummy! We spent most of the day in the backyard with our dogs and everyone was very chilled out and happy.
New Years was just as nice - we had a small BBQ at ours. It was nice and relaxing and the best bit was that we didnt have to go anywhere...

I am a little embarressed to admit that I havent been exercising too much (how hot has it been!) and my eating hasnt been fantastic, but I have a pretty good excuse. I am now 3 months pregnant and really dont think that now is the best time to be dieting as such - although I am still trying to eat good food and avoid junk (which I have been pretty sucessful at!)

So this will take my focus away from hitting goal and onto making the healthiest baby that I can make. And I would really love it if I can do that without putting too much weight on. My aim at the moment is to no put on over 15kg, but I really dont know how achievable that is. I am visiting the obstetrician today, and fingers crossed I have only put on 1-2kg in the first 3 months!

As you can imagine my hubby and I are over the moon and although I am terrified of the next few months, I am also thrilled that we were able to get pregnant without too much hassle. I feel very blessed.

Hope you all had a lovely new year and I look forward to catching up with you all in the coming weeks!

Take care
vx

going hoff!

2005-12-16T09:40:00.000+11:00

Apologies for my absence. Its not that I have been busy, its just that I feel like I have had nothing to write... well thats not exactly true, but I havent been in a writing mood.
The last few weeks have been pretty good. I have had a lot on with work. The Chritsmas party and a few functions.
This week we actually had David Hasselhoff come in the office. He was in our studios recording a single and came up to meet us all... and I have proof!

How funny is that!

For a couple of reasons I havent been superstrict with my eating and I have done no excercise for the past few weeks. Having said that I have managed to avoid all alcohol at christmas parties and have been eating pretty well considering. I had to visit a doctor yesterday and I was weighed in the surgery and guess what!?! I weighed in at 78.5kg!! Its the first time in years that I have weighed under 80kg and man was I excited! It means that I have lost a total of 11kg since I started at WW, and that is going to make such a difference to me for the coming year.

Have an interesting couple of weeks coming up. My mother in law goes in for chemotherapy today, so we are having a quiet christmas with her this year. I dont know if she will be up for much, but I think our priority is spending time with her. I also have 2 weeks off work, so I may not be able to post for a couple of weeks, but will give it a go from the home PC. We have just had the internet connected at home, so fingers crossed.

I wish you all a wonderful christmas and a wonderous 2006. I know that you will all keep fighting the good fight and reaching your goals next year. You have all been so inspirational and its been wonderful discovering these blogs and starting one myself. Well done to everyone on all your successes this year. You all ROCK!!

all the best

vxx

disaster averted

2005-11-29T09:48:00.000+11:00

Things are looking back on track for me. I stayed off the booze last week, stayed within my points and went to the gym twice on the weekend (as well as a couple of walks during the week). I even got up at 6.00am this morning and went to the gym! I feel like I am more motivated and more determined to beat this!

After my dissapointing 0.9 gain last week, I am delighted to say that the scales showed a loss of 1.3kg this week to take my total loss to 9.4kg. I am really happy with that. The only minor bummer is that I am sitting on 80.1kg and would have loved to have cracked the 70's. The scales at the gym show me as 79.5kg, so I was hoping to see a 7 today... never mind, I know that its all good.

Despite this, I have decided to not go to my meetings for the rest of the year. I will still track and weigh myself at the gym once a week, but I cant justify going to meetings at the moment. I will be able to explain more in the next few weeks, but the for the moment I think its the right decision and my leader agrees. I didnt make the decision lightly and I hope that I can keep on track on my own - I know I have your help and the help of my lovely hubby - so it shouldnt be too hard.

I dont have too much on this week. Am going to Oasis tonight and we are going away with a group of friends at the weekend to Hambledon Hill House for our group 'festivus for the rest of us', but the guys all know that I am on WW so they wont pressure me into eating crap!!

I hope you all have a good week. Congratulations to Phillipa and hugs to Mary...

vxx

rock and roll star

2005-11-25T06:24:00.000+11:00

Thanks to everyone for your supportive posts. Rest assured I wont be going back to that meeting (ever) and I will return to my normal meeting next week. I have been eating lots of fish this week and am off the booze completely, so things are looking good. My points have been good and I have been for 2 good walks so far, with the weekend to come. Feeling much more positive!

I just have to share a little bit of my night last night. I had such a good time and am still buzzing. Most of you now know that I work for a record company, so I am lucky enough to go to a lot of really good gigs. Sometimes this is exciting, but sometimes I would rather stay home and watch bad TV on the couch with the husband and the dogs. Last night was a night that I would have rather stayed home, but I made myself go to see the Strokes (yes, poor me!!). It was at the Gaelic Club in Sydney. I get there and the fun starts. I ran into an old work mate who I hadnt seen in a while and was delighted to find out that his wife was expecting a baby. (good news #1) The gig starts. They are rockin'. Its all good. Someone whispered in my ear that Liam Gallagher was in the room. Yes, Liam Gallagher from Oasis (this may not excite some of you - but I am a mega fan). He was standing in front of me for most of the night. I had to pinch myself a few times and keep control. I was watching the Strokes and Liam Gallagher is standing in front of me...

The gig ws really good. They played a lot of new songs, but they also played some old favorites like 'New York City Cops', 'Last Nite', 'Hard To Explain' and more. The room was buzzing and everyone was thrilled to be there. Then I get a tap on the shoulder. Another old workmate and her fiance are there. They have been in LA for ages and I hadnt seem them for about 5 years. And they are having a baby as well. (good news #2 or is it #3). It just seems like we are at a stage in our lives when good things are happening and people are really settling down and making new people! That makes me happy. They are also 2 really lovely couples so I am thrilled for them all!

Ok - I am rambling, but I havent had a fun night like that in ages. Then I get to work this morning and half the office has been out drinking with The Strokes and Oasis until 5.00am, while I was tucked up in bed. I probably wouldnt have gone out (am getting tired in my old age) but that is just too rock and roll!!

Anyway - I better get some work done - am off to hear some more stories and live vicarious through my workmates.
Good vibes to all this week!

vxx

Uh Oh...

2005-11-22T20:15:00.000+11:00

Well, well well. I missed my Monday weigh in this week. An old friend was in town and it was the only day she could catch up, so I went to WW today. I had had a pretty lax week - not terrible, just not as careful as I should be. I think I went over my points twice (slightly) and I didnt do too much excercise, so I was expecting a gain. So, imagine my dismay when I put on 0.9kg! I was a bit bummed with myself, but the icing on the cake was when I said 'Gee thats not good' and the weigher said coldly 'no its not'. Some words of encouragement would have sent me away quite positive, but that just made me want to chuck in the towel!

There are lots of reasons why I wasnt so good last week, but they all sound like excuses. The hubby got a new job and we got some other really good news, so we went out to celebrate with a lovely dinner during the week. I havent been feeling 100% so I have been tired and not able to excercise. My friends make really yummy party food and I over indulged very slightly on Saturday night. But seriously, I have had much naughtier weeks and lost and I am really bummed that it got so bad...

It has been so great reading your posts this week. The lovely Phillipa contines to bring smiles to my face. She is so positive and happy. It really makes my day!

I am going to try super hard to be good this week and try and get some excercise in, but I think I may stop actually going to WW for a while. I resent having to pay money to people to have them tell me I have put on weight. I apologise in advance for my mood, but I am really dissapointed in myself today.

I will pop back in later this week when my mood improves!
have a great week
vxx

Groundhog Day

2005-11-15T08:34:00.000+11:00

Today is a good day. I had a lovely weekend and I am just feeling quite happy with the world. I think I know that summer is just around the corner and its nice to know that I wont spend this summer in my only pair of jeans because I have nothing else to wear!

The hubby and I spent most of yesterday lying in a park in Balmain with our dogs reading the papers and enjoying the sunshine. There is something really relaxing about taking off your shoes and touching the ground. And the dogs love it too!! We were both som calm and happy when we got home.

Went to see Kelly Clarkson last night - not really my favourite singer, but I had to go for work and she was excellent! It was a good way to top off the week after meeting INXS and John Farnham... I will try and post some photos soon (after I work out how to do that!).

It has been so exciting to have people read my posts last week. Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave messages. I am really thrilled.

So I had my weigh in today and lost another 0.5kg which I am really happy with. It makes my total loss to date 9.1kg and I am soooo close to getting under under 80kg. So I got my 13 week star and I hit my 10%. YAY! So if all goes to plan this week I will hit my 10kg and get under 80kg, but I cant think that way - I will just do my best and hope for a loss!!

I am getting a little frustrated with my body tho. My size 16 clothes are falling off me (a good problem to have) and I have been trying on size 14's and they dont fit me. I am sure this will only be a problem for a week or so, but its really frustrating me!!

Nothing big planned for this week. Trying to stay fairly low key before the stupid season gets into full swing - by my diary its November 25th this year - HELP!!

Have a good week all
vxx

copy cat - 12 things about me

2005-11-09T12:22:00.000+11:00

I found this on Phillipa's blog and I thought I would do my own! I think its a really interesting way to get to know people and I actually found it an interesting way to find stuff about myself!

Here goes - drum roll please
12 things about me

12 Movies I Like
Trainspotting
The Princess Bride
Fight Club
In Her Shoes
Say Anything
High Fidelity
My Best Friends Wedding
Pulp Fiction
Before Sunrise
Moulin Rouge
Big Fish
The Sure Thing

11 bands/ artists that I like
Radiohead
Franz Ferdinand
Jamiroquai
Groove Armade
Kylie Minogue
Oasis
Natalie Imbruglia
Faithless
PULP
Robbie Williams
Suede

10 Things about me
My husband and I got married in Las Vegas
I work for a record company
My new years resolution every year is to be on a game show
I spend every Friday night at Five Dock bowling Club
I saw Madonna at Madison Square Gardens in New York City on my 30th birthday
My mother died when I was 13
I have 2 dogs called Sabi and Suki
I watch Friends on a regular basis
I traveled around Europe on my own for 6 months when I was 22
we are renovating our first home

9 Good Friends
Anton - my beautiful husband and the best thing that ever happened to me
Kim - my oldest school friend and someone I can tell anything to
Irene - good friend from London - work - life
Andria - my new bessie
Amber - my new work bessie
Jeff - the first friend I made independant of school - he lives in London now and I miss hime
Amanda - she was with my the night I met Anton and she is tops
Lauren - excellent girlfriend who I work with
Jane - a really good friend - her daughter Caitlin is my god daughter

8 favourite foods
Oysters (and all seafood)
Pizza
Japanese
Italian almond biscuits
Yum Cha
Bloody marys
Turkish delight (the proper stuff not the one with the chocolate)
Mangos

7 things I wear daily
My wedding and engagement rings
My Paloma Picasso rings that I bought from Tiffanys in beverly hills
My chain and cross that my hubby bought me for our 2nd Christmas
A bra
Watch
palmers cocoa butter
ear rings

6 things I hate
Idiots
My neighbours
People who go around the supermarket the wrong way
Bad manners
Agro
Missing my train

5 things I do daily
Cook
Eat breakfast with my husband
Track my food
Surf the net
Shower

4 shows I watch
Survivor
The Biggest Loser
Sunrise
Spicks and Specks (wish I could be on it!!)

3 Places I Have Lived
London
Newtown
Sydenham

2 Things I want
A baby
Take my hubby to Europe

1 Person I Want To See Right Now
My hubby – he had a job interview today and I want to see if he is OK

I hope you like it - it was fun to write!!

monday report

2005-11-08T09:15:00.000+11:00

Well - an OK result
Lost 0.5kg so that brings me to 8.6kg total loss. We talked about fibre in our meeting today, so I popped in the health food shop and got myself some psyillium husks to try and help move things along!
Planning a good week of exercise and I dont think we have anything naughty on this week, so I cant wait to get to 10kg lost. Having said that, INXS are coming into the office on Wednesday and I will be so nervous that I will have to have a couple of vino's to calm myself!
bye for now
vxx

why did I start this?

2005-11-08T06:40:00.000+11:00

greetings to all.

This is my first ever blog. I am a bit nervous, so be nice to me! I have been reading so many other blogs the last few months that I thought I should start my own! Its a no brainer really.
My main focus at the moment is my weight watchers obsession. I didnt want to call it a journey - it sounds so cliched, but I guess that's what it is. To be honest its my repeat journey. I did it in 2000-2001 and lost 25kg and since meeting my now husband I put most of it back on - actually I put all of it back on!
I decided a few months ago that I didnt like being the size I was and I wondered if my hubby would have even noticed me if he met me today. It doesnt seem like a fair comment to make, but I just wondered it all the same...
So I started back at WW in August and have lost around 8kg to date. Its a start, but I have at least 15kg to go. I know I can do it, I just have to see if I can keep it off forever this time!!

Nothing else happening this week. I think I am going to Kelly Clarkson on Sunday night (for work) and the hubby is going for a blokey poker night on Saturday so I might have a girls night in - chick flicks and early night for me I think...

By the way, Monday is my weigh in day, so I will probably post again today.. stay tuned for some good news - fingers crossed xxx