back to the drawing board

I got fired this week. They didnt say fired, they said 'let go'. I have never been 'let go' so quickly in my life. I am not really sure what happened, suffice to say, the big mean man boss who I had spoken to twice didnt like me and didnt want to work with me.

I had been there 4 weeks and was getting on with it. My (lady) boss seemed to like what I had been doing and we had one little issue, but had moved on from it. I had a few days off in my 3rd week because Lila was sick with a really bad cold, and I wasnt going to leave her at day care. But I offered to do work from home and did that both days.

So either, he just didnt like me, or he didnt like the fact that I would put my family before work. Now, I havent been employed since I have been a mother, but I am thinking that is a little bit unreasonable...

Its fine though. If they want to be like that, I dont want to work there. Its their loss. I got 2 extra weeks pay, and am looking for another job, but in my heart of hearts, I just want something part time for now. I am going to keep Lila at day care 2 days a week because I think its good for her to be social and spend time with other kids, and its also a good chance for me to get some things done.

And in the week that I get 'let go', my husband gets offered a better job with a better company and better money, so I think its some kind of sign...

I think I will work 2-3 days a week with a friend of mine who has a merchandising company. We are going to have a chat on Monday. That would suit me for the moment. Its close to home and I think it will be fairly easy and only 5 hours a day, so it wont be such an early start.

Our house will go on the market next week. I hope we get what we want for it. I am sure it will come close. I think its a nice house and am posititve that others will think that too. We move at the beginning of September.

My beautiful Lila turns 1 next week. Where did the year go? This is the invite that I made for her birthday party. Well its not really a party... We are going to the pub! Well, we cant have it here and I dont feel like organising a picnic or anything when we will be having an open house that day, so the pub it is!!

Hope everything is good out there. Looks like we will have a lovely weekend.

take care

vx

cold cold cold

Hey all

I just realised its been a whole month since I posted. All is good, we just havent had a computer at home for a couple of weeks. Hubby blew up the hard drive, but we finally have a lap top - its very spunky and I love it. I will try to get on here more often, but at the moment I am addicted to facebook and I cant seem to drag myself away. Its kind of like myspace only much easier to use and much easier to find your friends. I have found people that I havent spoken to in years and its great to catch up!

All is good. I started work 3 weeks ago and it feels like I have been there for ever. The people are lovely and the job suits me to the ground - its close to home and they are all very aware of the fact that I have a child and that she is super important, so I am out of there at 5 oclock on the dot and no one makes me feel guilty about it. I like that. Lila has a cold at the moment so I had to leave early and take her home my boss was over the moon that I offered to take home work. I actually managed to get more done at home than I would usually at work - go figure.

We have started to pack up our house and it should be on the market at the end of next week. I am so excited. I am not sure when we will move but it will probably be by the end of August. I will be so happy to have much more room and a neighbourhood that I can enjoy. It will be fantastic!!

Lila is getting more wonderful by the day. She will be one in just a few weeks. She seems so grown up now. She is almost walking and its so much fun to watch her get around. She loves dancing and just adores her daddy. Its very sweet. We are having a party for her, even though it seems so silly to have a party when she wont even realise that its for her. We just love spoiling her, so I guess its more for us.

On the weight front - things are getting dire, so I have gone back to WW. I thought I could do it on my own, but I was wrong. I know that I just need a big kick in the bum. I considered taking xenical as I thought there was no hope for me. I even spoke to the pharmacist about it. The only thing stopping me from buying it was the cost ($139 for 4 weeks). They said that you could lose between 1 and 4kg a month. I told my husband and he said I could do that with diet and exercise and that it was a waste of $$. He was right as usual. I just have to find the strength and motivation from somewhere. I went to a WW meeting in Newtown on Tuesday night - it was FREEZING and I couldnt find a park, but I went anyway. It was a bit of a shock to have put on so much weight after losing it after having Lila. I feel like Oprah sometimes - I take it off and put it on and keep yo-yoing from 90kg to 80kg to 90kg to 70kg to 80kg and so on. I just want to get to 80kg at the moment, and then I will try for 70 again. I have done it before so I am sure that I can do it again.

My next weigh in is on Tuesday. I havent exercised yet, but will try to on the weekend, and I have stuck to my points and am eating well. One step at a time....

Hope everyone is good out there. I have lost all my favourites, so leave me a message so I can find you all again!

vvxx

Just let go

Hi There

My beautiful 10 month old daughter had a her 1st full day at day care today. She was great. Had her 2 day sleeps, ate all her food, didnt cry. Her carer said that she was every carers 'dream child'. Bless.

At least I know she will be fine. She goes for 1 day next week and then she is there 5 days a week. I am sad but I know that she will love it!

Good weekends to you all...

vxx

Happy Days

Hi All

You will be happy to know that things have calmed down considerably since my last post. Hubby and I are definitely getting on better and I think things should be OK. He has spoken to a few friends and they have quite rightly told him 'be thankful for what you have and stop living in the past'. Here here!

I have spent the past few weeks getting myself sorted with my job hunting and I managed to get the first job that I applied for! Its at a homewares company (mmm... homewares!) and its local so thats really handy for me. The 'boss' seems like a great woman and its quite a small family run business so I think it could suit me to the ground. Luckily I havent forgotten how to turn the computer on, but it will be very weird going back to work after having almost a year off. I start in 2 weeks, which means Lila will be in day care 5 days a week! Thats the bit that I am most stressed about. I dont know how I will cope because I have never had this experience before so if any of you have any tips - can you please send them my way? I will need all the help I can get.

I ended up getting 5 days with Family Day Care. The carer is very close to where we live now and she seems like a nice lady so fingers crossed it will all work out.

We are selling our place in the next couple of weeks - well at least we are putting it on the market. That will be stressfull too but the house we are moving to is great and it will mean that we have much more room for Lila and I think we will enjoy our weekends more which will be very important with us both working 5 days a week.

My weight had gone through the roof the past few months. I weigh the same now as I did when I was (very) pregnant with Lila. I think my medication had something to do with it, but all the baking I have been doing probably helped a little! I am not very happy about it but I think once I go back to work I will hopefully drop back a bit again. It doesnt bother me as much as it has in the past. I feel happier in myself than I have for a long time, and although I know that I need to do something about it, it doesnt make me sad.

This is one of the only photos we have as a family!

It was taken last weekend at Anton's Mums 60th Birthday

Lila with her grandmother (Babushka) at her 60th birthday!

Lila is great and getter more fantastic every day. She now has 4 teeth and is moving around a lot - will be walking soon! She is such a great bub and I will really miss spending my days with her, but I am sure that the time I spend with her will be even more wonderful!
Hope you are all well
vxxx

the drama

Hi There
I have been really crap with posting considering that I have been spending so much time on the internet.

A lot is going on and I dont really know where to start. Its not all good tho.
Um firstly, I was lucky enough to meet the wonderful Phillipa the other week just before she headed off on her World Tour. She was in Sydney for a few days before heading off to San Fran and Lila and I were lucky enough to spend an hour with her and the beautiful Mary at The Bank. It was like we were old friends catching up, even tho I admitted to her I felt like I was on a blind date. I had literally bumped into Mary a couple of weeks earlier in Newtown. She is much more beautiful in real life and I really enjoyed meeting her! Philippa is a fantastic woman and I wish her all the best on her travels!

My very good friend Jeff is back in town. He was the first friend I met independant of school back in 1986, and we are still the best of mates now. He has been living in London for the past 10 years and he is back for a year. It was the first time I have seen him as a married woman and the first time he had met Lila, and I have to say he fell completely in love with her! It was really lovely to catch up with him. He has gone to Brampton Island for a week and is back tomorrow, so I cant wait to spend a bit more time with him. Welcome home Jeff. I love you!!

We are putting our house on the market in the next couple of weeks. Its very scary but also very exciting as the house that we are moving to in Balmain is FANTASTIC! Its my father in laws place, and it has so much more space and is in a great location. We havent worked out the details yet, but its as well as done. At this stage we should be moving in about 10 weeks. I dont really know how this will affect us, as it looks like my husband and I may be breaking up. He thinks that i have changed too much since becoming a mum, and he feels like he needs some space to find out who he is. I am a bit thrown by all of this, as I feel that I have become a much better person since having Lila. She is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and I would never go back to my life without her. By my hubby is having a hard time dealing with being a dad and I dont really know what is going to happen to us. I am determined to try and work this out and keep our family together - its going to be tough but I am going to give it a red hot go. I am sure that hubby needs some help, but I cant seem to convince him that its the best thing for him...

Any way, I will keep you informed. I am not having the best time and I have no idea what will happen in the next few months. I hope they improve. I am sure they will once we move and I get myself a job - but that brings its own challanges as I cant find child care. Things are never easy are they...
take care
vx

update

hey folks
Just a quick update to cover off where I am at...

I started this post about 3 weeks ago - I should post it now and will start a new one as well...

The most exciting news for the week, was a surprise wedding! Our friends Susan and Phil were throwing a party for their 10 year (going out!) anniversary on Tuesday night. It was at a pub in the city and we just thought it was going to be a party! We got there late and flustered and Susan was wearing a beautiful champagne coloured Alannah Hill frock and Phil was in jeans and a velvet jacket (very dressed up for him!). There was champagne and canapes but nothing too flash. Everyone was relaxed and having a drink and a catch up. All of a sudden we were all ushered into another room and it was filled with beautiful flowers. There was a lady standing there with a folder and she rang some tibetan prayer bells. She said her name and announced that she was a marriage celebrant. Well the crowd went WILD. NO ONE knew (including their parents and siblings!) and we were all so excited for them. They had always vowed that they were happy to never get married. It was a beautiful hand binding ceremony and I know I was crying, as I am sure where the rest of the crowd. We had a lovely dinner together and a bunch of us went out until 4.00AM!! I am very happy that we organised a baby sitter for Lila!
So after a few hours sleep we headed to the Courthouse in Newtown for Anzac Day. Its always a great day out and was a bit quieter than usual because of the rain. I didnt drink much because I had to drive, but its always a hoot down there. I love seeing the old diggers out and about, enjoying a beer. It bring a smile to my face. I was very happy to get home and get some sleep last night, thats for sure!
Other stuff that has been happening.... hmm. The short version. I think I need to find myself a job. The trouble is that I dont really know what I want to do. I have to get myself organised and start applying for jobs. I am sure that something will come along soon.
We may be putting our house on the market. A couple of reasons, the first being that we need more space. The second is that Anton's dad is moving interstae and there is a possibilty that we can rent their place from them. Its a much larger house in Balmain, and it would be awesome if that all works out.

cheers
vxx

Family Holiday

I have just returned from my first holiday as a family. Anton, Lila and I just went to the Sunshine Coast for a week and it was glorious. We stayed at a place called Dickies Beach in Caloundra. The beach is named after a shipwreck of the SS Dickie on the beach. Aparently the boat got stuck there is the 1800's and it is amazing - looks like a whale carcass.

The apartments that we stayed, called Portobello By The Sea were great. They had a great pool and our courtyard had its own outdoor hottub, so it was a nice alternative to going out at night which we obviously couldnt do with a bub! Although obviously she loved the hot tub as well!

We had a couple of outings. One was to the Ginger Factory at Yandina. I am a real ginger fan, so we had to go there and suss it out. We got some yummy ginger fudge and acted like total tourists and loved it!

Anton spent a bit of time playing golf, and I spent a lot of time in the pool. It was so nice to just relax. Lila would wake every morning at 4.30am, which I think was a combination of daylight savings ending and not being in her own bed. The bed that they had was very creaky and evertime she moved it would make a noise like somebody humping - quite funny bu really annoying when we were trying to sleep! Lila also liked the pool and it was great to get her used to the water.

Another day trip was to Noosa. It is such a beautiful place, but a little bit too ritzy for us. It was so busy for this time of the year and we didnt feel like spending a lot of money going to a really nice place for lunch. So we went to the Surf Club, which ended up having great views of main beach and was lovely and relaxed. Great choice I thought!

The last trip we took was to Maleny and the Glass House Mountains. I had no idea that they would be so spectacular. It was a really lovely day and Maleny was a real find. We had a beautiful lunch at an organic cafe where I think I had the best mango smoothie in existance! The mountains are really stunning and I would recommend a visit if you are ever in the area.

I was really impressed with the area and even looked at some real estate prices which were quite affordable. I can really see why people move to QLD. Lots of space and beautiful weather. Hmm, something to think about.

A few more pics to share with you. We took so many photos and these were my favourites.

When we got back, I decided that I wanted to go to V Festival at Centennial Park, to see Groove Armada, Jarvis Cocker and the Pet Shop Boys. Anton took Lila to his mums and we met up afterwards and stayed out until 3.00am!! It was very lucky that Lila wasnt there to wake us up at 4.30am. It was nice to have a night off, but I do miss her when she isnt around.

Hope all is well.

vxx